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  The perfect ...  
     
 
 If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him
          and never say its not quite as good as his mothers


          ...then buy a dog.



If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour,
          for as long and wherever you want ...



          ...then buy a dog.

 
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care
          about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic
          movies
          ...then buy a dog.


If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to
          warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores



          ...then buy a dog !

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care
          if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if
          every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves
          you unconditionally, perpetually ..


          ...then buy a dog.


BUT , on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come
          when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair
          all over the plac e, walks all over you, runs around all night and only
          comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence
          is solely to ensure his happiness .,
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .

          ...then buy a cat!

Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say... marry a man, didn't you ??