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  Malaysian Diseases  
     
 
ASSMA

  Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much ass.  
The No. 1 disease in Malaysia. 
Civil servants are unusually at risk.
 
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DIALARRHOEA


  Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to
  share with them such important information as "I'm walking towards the car." 
Victims can be recognized by large, witching thumb.
 
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MEESLES


  Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of
  instant noodles.
 
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TOTONUS


  Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes
  depression at finding out one has not touched lottery.
 
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CYBERTENSION


  Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access.
 
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DYEBETES


  A compulsive need to colour one's hair. 
  Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, 
  but health authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.