A Grandma in Court  
Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question 
if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, 
a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. 
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do
you know me?' 
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and
frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount
to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you
know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he
has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of
the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated
on his wife with three different women. One of them was
your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and,
in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair.'