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  Wordperfect  
     
  This is a real transcript from a real conversation.  
     
 
This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time.  
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline.
 Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

            
Operator:         'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
            
Caller:              'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
            
Operator:         'What sort of trouble??'
            
Caller:              'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
            
Operator:         'Went away?'
           
Caller:              'They disappeared.'
            
Operator:         'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
           
Caller:              'Nothing.'
           
Operator:         'Nothing??'
          
 Caller:              'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
            
Operator:         'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
            
Caller:              'How do I tell?'
            
Operator:         'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
            
Caller:              'What's a sea-prompt?'
            
Operator:         'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
            
Caller:              'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
            
Operator:         'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
            
Caller:              'What's a monitor?'
            
Operator:         'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.. 
                        Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
            
Caller:               'I don't know.'
            
Operator:          'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. 
                         Can you see that??'
            
Caller:              'Yes, I think so.'
            
Operator:         'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
            
Caller:              'Yes, it is.'
            
Operator:         'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged 
                        into the back of it, not just one??'
            
Caller:               'No.'
            
Operator:          'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
            
Caller:               'Okay, here it is.'
            
Operator:          'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
            
Caller:               'I can't reach.'
            
Operator:          'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
            
Caller:               'No.'
            
Operator:          'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
            
Caller:               'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
            
Operator:          'Dark??'
            
Caller:               'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
            
Operator:          'Well, turn on the office light then.'
            
Caller:               'I can't.'
            
Operator:          'No? Why not??'
            
Caller:               'Because there's a power failure.'
            
Operator:          'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
                         Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
            
Caller:               'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
            
Operator:           'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system,
		and pack it up just like it was when you got it. 
                          Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
            
Caller:                'Really? Is it that bad?'
            
Operator:            'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
            
Caller:                 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
            
Operator:            'Tell them you're too  stupid to own a computer!!!!!'