Kids and the Sea  
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.     (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.                                     (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island .
If you don't have sea all round you, you are
incontinent.                                                                       ( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just
like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.            (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

6) My brother goes out in his boat with his girlfriend, and comes back with crabs..
                                                                                   (Emily Burniston age 5)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade
winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind
didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the
wind come. My brother said they would be better off
eating beans.                                                                     (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like
their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?              (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby
brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad
keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just
got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.                         (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live
in caves under the sea where I think they have to
plug themselves into chargers.                                        (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold,
and it makes my willy small.                                                 (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the
water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have
to go down on each other.                                                  (Becky age 8)

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off
when she was going very fast. She says she won't do
it again because water shot up her fanny.                            (Julie age 7).