Speeding Pope  
After getting all Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo ~ and he
doesn't travel light! ~ the driver notices that the Pope is still standing
on the kerb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your
seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at
the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry but I can't let you do that.  I'd lose my job! And what if
something should happen?' protests the driver.

'There might be something extra in it for you,' says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets into the back as the Pope climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver's worst fears are swiftly realised:  exiting the
airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the
Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, my lord, I'm gonna lose my licence,' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches.  The
cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo
going a hundred and five.  'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' says the cop.

The Chief exclaims, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean REALLY important,' says the cop.

The Chief asks, 'Who ya got there, the Mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'Governor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'Well, who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!'