Thomas the Tank Engine  
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her 
five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in
the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You
Bastards who want to get off, get the fuck off now, cause we're in a
hurry! And all of you Bastards who are getting on, get the
fuck on, cause we're going down the tracks'.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't Use
that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to
your room and stay there for TWO HOURS.

When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want
You to Use nice language.'

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed
Playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother
heard her son say,

'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please
remember to take all of your belongings with you.

We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip
was a pleasant one.'
She hears the little boy continue,

'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of
your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no
smoking on the train.

We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us

As the mother began to smile, the child added..........

'For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay,
please see the fat bitch in the kitchen.'