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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to
let him keep her.   (Sacha Guitry)
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other but still they stay together.
          (Hemant Joshi)

			
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If
you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time
to go to a restaurant twice a week. A little candlelight,
dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go
Fridays.'     (Henny Youngman)

          
'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and
the second one didn't.'       (Patrick Murray)

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
          1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
          2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
          (Nash)

         
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
          (Henny Youngman)

          
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
          (Rodney Dangerfield)

          
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
          (Milton Berle)

          
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
          (Anonymous)

          
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
          (Anonymous)

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'